the rose

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as i was walking today

along a rain laden path

i found amidst petals

a brilliant white rose

 

partly bloomed

tattered at the edges

this rose reflected beauty

which exists alongside flaws

 

i plucked away the leaves

i made neat its stem

i smiled at its simplicity

and at a new finding

 

this rose was missing petals

right by its center

unnoticeable at first glance

a hidden flaw within

 

it is simply proof

of beauty that shows

despite not only exterior

but interior flaws as well

 

the holes that exist within us

the missing parts, like the petals

do not hide the good from view

as these show through all the damage

life in love

they make it look so easy

they make it seem like

happily ever after is just there

but it’s never like the movies, is it?

 

i’ve found that with love

comes pain as well

even more so, actually

it seems kind of ironic

 

to get hurt so much?

to always be on edge

to worry that today may be the day

that would shatter me to pieces

 

perhaps i’ve shed more tears

now than before

i’ve been hurt more

but i guess that’s love too

 

no, it’s not like the movies

it’s not always happy

nor is it as easy as it may seem

but i guess… that’s what makes it real

hi you

every now and then

i find you back on my mind

not exactly like before

but those come to mind as well

 

i see your tweets

i see you’re tired

i find myself thinking,

why don’t i know you anymore?

 

i wish we were still friends

i wish we still talked

i hope you remember

i’m still here for you

 

it seems as though

you’re going through a repeat

possibly with another girl?

i wouldn’t really know

 

i miss my friend from  years ago

i miss talking to you

and in a way,

i miss being important to you

 

we won’t go back to how we were

nor will we get closer again

til now i know twas my fault

im still sorry…

update

so….. i’m reading through my tumblr… the one where i used to post my poems… now i wonder if i should transfer at least some of it here… hmm… i’m quite proud of several of them… and reading back, i can’t believe i wrote it…

just a random thought 🙂 i’m getting quite stressed with school and haven’t been writing much 😦 but! i submitted a story somewhere and am currently waiting to find out if it is good enough :s fingers crossed that it is! :s

anyhow… do i transfer my poems and stories…? hmmmm :/ anyhow, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! 😀

 

-koi 🙂

suicide

*this was a slightly altered version of a poem that I submitted as a project in my senior year of high school 🙂

 

times come that the world collapses in on you

where you dont know what to do anymore

your mind plunges into darkness

and you feel like giving up on everything

 

its times like these that you want to step off the ledge

slit your wrist or take the pills to sleep forever

the thoughts of a meaningless life circling your mind

the temptation growing to an almost unbearable size

and you want to give in, lose yourself to the darkness

say goodbye

 

as difficult as it may be to think or to believe

there are reasons to keep going, to want to stay

thare is always a silver lining, a light in the darkness

all you have to do, as difficult as it may be, is to find it

 

so gaze at the statue

lie on the grass beneath the oblation

breathe in the fresh air, take in the sunlight

pull yourself out of the darkness

and away from those thoughts

fight on

give up

*this was a poem that I came across as I was looking through my files and was written on 9 December 2012

 

Carnations not tended to will wither and die

The same fate will fall upon a sad girl as i

One day, they will somehow see

That there is nothing left of me

 

I fear the day that I give up

That day, I fear, is near

They’ll find me looking up at them through closed eyes and a casket

And then how would they feel?

 

I foresee no tears shed, no memories relived

Or perhaps on those days, there will be

But then when that’s done and im buried,

Who would dare remember me?

 

Someone who sat silent and never spoke a word

Someone stuck in fairy tales, otherwise absurd

 

With my tears that flow

Come my last strands of hope

tonight’s thoughts

the irony lies in this:

it is in the home where we should feel safe. . .

but it is in mine that i feel most broken. . .

 

the sun and company in the day. . .

compares not to the loneliness of the night. . .

the crushing feeling. . .

 

lying here tonight. . .

alone again in the darkness. . .

it leaves me wondering. . .

 

why don’t i just jump?

what would my presence do to this world?

why should i stay?

 

its all lonely anyway. . . . . .

[in]sanity

i. . .

i can feel it. . .

the world is falling away. . .

or maybe it’s just me. . .

 

it’s like. . .

i’m just floating here. . .

alone in this room. . .

away from the world. . .

 

maybe. . .

this is just another episode. . .

something brought about. . .

by all the loneliness. . .

 

then again. . .

maybe this is my reality. . .

and i should let things fall. . .

however and where ever they wish. . .

 

but i. . .

i swear to you i will try. . .

to hold on to sanity and the world. . .

a touch of optimism in all this craziness. . .